With regards to the alleged "speed" of thoughts. The human race generally thinks at the speed correlating to the pace they speak. Many of sluggards then also repeat those thoughts to them selves in their thoughts to solidify if they happen to actually think what they think. This is an elementary issue that is addressed in basic ninja training. The master (real time ninja) is able not only to think faster than an opponent, he is able to act his thoughts before he has them. Then upon having the thought his move or idea is already into being or has already be executed. This all takes place before the though is birthed into the physical world.
DEAD. You might be familiar with the term procrastination which is to well... delay something. Well the RT ninja is able to achieve pre-execution. Just like DEAD was placed before procrastination, the RT ninja has obviously killed procrastination with pre-execution even before you were able to delay considering having an actual thought.
DEAD. So you might be thinking, how then is it possible to defeat pre-execution? As you can see that sentence was also pre-executed. DEAD... satisfied?
Now that a basic move of the RT ninja is starting to gain a place in your windows 3.1 speed thought process, you might notice the title of this post was pre-executed. Ya the RT ninja is that good.
What can be more awesome that pre-execution you might be wasting your time thinking? Oh i don't know pre-world peace? IF the RT ninja so chose, he could in fact pre-execute all crime, by you know being able to place him self before all events. But the ninja does not believe in minority report logic, he believes in his mission. His mission is a secret, so don't ask. Just. Don't. Ask.
*** Top secret section, read at own clearance & discretion***
*written in revealed digital invisible ink*
-=Training technique=-
*Kiss of the dragons whisper mustache whisker*
1. Grow an Asian mustache, usually 1-3 hairs very long.
2. Groom mustache immaculately, don't be gross.
3. Create social media accounts on behalf of young legendary mustache.
4. Post constantly to those accounts with everything thing your mustache does, its first chocolate milk, first trip fighting crime, first date. Basically anything someone would post about their cat, do it for your mustache.
5. Speak to everyone always from your mustache's perspective, and make it sound like a repressed people group, like gluten free pansies. Demand special treatment because of it when at restaurants. "Look for me to eat this, i am going to need a triple long straw, my burger and fries tossed in a blender and puree'd, do you have any idea how offensive it would be if my mustache had to touch your food?" Things like that.
6. Once you have developed a name/reputation for the mustache, instantly delete all social media accounts, and act like it never existed. People will be so shocked at its disappearance they will post pictures for the "missing" add on milk cartons.
7. After all the digital noise, there will be a void left by those hard working 1-3 long whiskers. This is when you pluck out each whisker with two blacksmith's hammers. While still holding the hammers dip each whisker in pure gold, repeat dipping and cooling the whisker until you have a short sword. *Pro Tip* this can take years of working 24/7 just to get 1 whisker properly forged, so make sure to have a good nights sleep before getting started.
8. Now you have 1-3 expertly crafted blades, made from the core of your own DNA, hair of your own hair, follicle of your own flesh, from the face of a champion. The bond you have with these blades can never be broken, just don't get creepy with them, i mean they are basically gold coated hairs.
9. Now having been years on the missing persons list, they have gone from myth to legend, and some things that should have been forgotten are not.
10. Approach your target slowly while staring at their upper lip, this generally makes the target extremely uncomfortable. Draw 1-3 of the whisker swords from a holster in your arm pit, gently touch the targets upper lip with the tip of the blade, so carefully that there is only 1-3 drops of blood. Then softly and sweetly, but not creepily whisker in the targets ear steps 1-8 and reveal to them that in fact they have just been Kissed by the dragons whisper mustache whisker or KbtDWMW for short. 11. Observe their internal organs collect into a singularity with one internal explosion and drop kick it into space, because you might need that black hole another day for another feat of RT ninja epicness. 12. win.

What the hell did I just read?
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